Please allow me to begin this blog by sharing with you the fact that the month of May is Brain Cancer Awareness Month. How fitting for me to be healing from brain surgery and preparing for radiation during this time. Perhaps it is some sort of sign.
Anyhow, today marks exactly four weeks post-op. I apologize for not being communicative to society as I continue to heal from this process. Actually, allow me to retract that last sentence. I do not apologize. You see, I easily could have just deleted that sentence, but I wanted to allow the reader to understand my personal perspective, as well as the ability for the reader to apply it to their own life. This idea relates to one of my most utilized self-practices that one should apply. “If you do not take care of yourself first, you will be useless to everyone else.” So you see, drink your coffee before you go out and see people, calm yourself and breath before you ask that pretty girl out on a date, and beat that brain cancer before you go out and serve the community you love so dearly.
That is most likely the maximum amount of advice I am going to be able to provide within this post. As you can see, I need to heal myself first – and so far, these past few weeks have not been an easy road to recovery. As I attempt to heal from this brain surgery, I am also averaging around two doctor’s appointments per week (perhaps more than that), sitting home since I am unable to work at the moment, and stressing about what the next 12 months of my life looks like. So as you can see, I need to take care of myself first. However, hopefully you are able to apply this post to yourself. Perhaps not cancer-related, but simply putting yourself first in order to then provide positive outcome to others.
I am hoping that I have experienced the worst of this three stage battle that began with brain surgery, followed by six weeks of daily radiation and chemo, and then finalized by 12 more months of chemotherapy. As you may remember, I have already experienced this 12 month chemotherapy treatment back in 2014-2015. I have done it once, and I will do it again. At this point in time, I have been putting full trust in the doctors, and I have relied on my fianceé, my family, and my friends to take care of me. I am not able to do this alone. As I have said in the past, despite the fact that this brain cancer resides in my brain, it is forced to battle against everyone who chooses to support me.
For over a year, I have provided blog posts within The Mindful Sight – trying to give suggestions to people who wake up in the morning and jump out of bed, stress throughout the day over a number of events, and then go to bed that night in order to replay that scenario the next day. I am unsure of how many tips I will be able to provide over this next year because of what I will be going through, but I will do my very best. This battle is a marathon, not a sprint.
I say all of these things, these battles I have to go through, and I am only 27 years old. But this cancer has to be battled, every single day, because of what I want to provide to this world. I want to make my parents proud and provide them with grandchildren someday. I want to be able to get back to work in order to help out the City of Gloucester that I love so much. I want to stay aside my friends who make me laugh and smile so consistently. But most of all, I want to (here come my tears) stay aside Leah – the girl that I want to grow old with. We still have so many things to accomplish. I need to make sure she has the wedding of her dreams, vacations that check off items on our to-do list, and have children that do not have my big nose, my stutter, nor any other negative features. To my future children – take all of your mother’s qualities and just take my last name. I love you Leah.
Good luck cancer, you’ll need it. Round 2, here we go.